NEWSFLASH...NEWSFLASH…
Australia this morning is suffering from one of the worse food shortages in history.
Over the past 2 weeks Government stock piles have mysteriously been dwindling away.
The Prime Minister - John Howard, addressing his cabinet yesterday, indicated that "the situation is now reaching critical stage, and a request for United Nations intervention has been passed to the UN General Secretary"
It has also been announced, that as from midnight tonight, all Supermarkets, corner shops, grocers, butchers and candlestick makers, will be closed till further notice.
Lord Michael Percival Kent, of the Red Cross, has sent a message to all Heads of State, requesting emergency assistance.
Sir Bob Geldorf has also been requested to put together an emergency "Food Aid Concert" in the hope that lives can be saved.
It is expected, that by Christmas, up to 3 million people will die of starvation in and around Sydney.
Sir Billy Bunter, of the Famine Relief Agency, has stated "...we must be prepared for the worse...." "...an unprecedented scale of human suffering is about to grip Australia…"
The British Prime Minister - Tony Blair - has called an emergency cabinet meeting this morning to discuss the crisis. Later today, six RAF Hercules transporters will leave RAF Brize Norton, headed for Sydney. It's cargo will be:
Five loaves and 2 pieces of Haddock.
".... it will take a miracle to prevent this famine spreading to neighbouring countries.." said Prime Minister Tony Blair, "...but I believe that we in the United Kingdom can provide that vital resource"
Unconfirmed reports are suggesting that the shortage of food stems from the Birrong district of Sydney N.S.W. around the Hill Road area..!!